Exploring and resolving shame, especially pre-verbal, implicit and chronic shame, has always been challenging even for the most effective therapist-client dyads. Shame is a painful interpersonal emotion that develops in relationship with caregivers, significant other people, society at large, and is impacted by historical and racialized trauma.

We see ourselves through the eyes of others, and if we perceive that others are disapproving, humiliating, ridiculing or hold us in contempt, our sense of self, our bodies, emotions, thoughts and self-esteem are deeply affected. Because shame inherently pertains to parts of the self that we wish to disguise or conceal, clients often do not readily talk about their shame for fear (implicit or explicit) of further humiliation or rejection. Therapists, sometimes because of their own shame, also might avoid bringing shame to the fore in the therapy hour. The avoidance on the part of both parties obfuscates shame itself and can render its treatment inconceivable.

This workshop explores the roots of shame including early relationships, privilege/oppression dynamics and historical trauma, and elucidates its impact on the body and nervous system, on patterns of emotions, thoughts and beliefs, and on relationships. We will address the various manifestations of shame, and how shame is so often disguised and veiled, sometimes even to our clients themselves. Since many shameful encounters, especially early ones, occur primarily through non-verbal communication, such as prosody, gesture, and  eye contact we will explore the role of these in the therapy hour in terms of healing shame. With an emphasis on the relational nature of shame, special attention will be given to the importance of the therapeutic relationship. Both resourcing shame and processing memories of  shameful encounters will be addressed.